Dear Expectant Mother

As we sit down to compose this letter to you, we are sitting at the window overlooking the beautiful canal across from our house. We have been wondering how to find just the right words to convey our respect for the courage and care you must have as you consider an adoption plan for your expected child. We would be honored to make a life long commitment to your child, and to you, to provide loving care for your child and raise him with love and encouragement. As we live in the Netherlands, we think it’s important to tell you, from the very start, that we will be more than happy to visit at least once a year so that you can know your child, growing up, if you’d like to have this opportunity. We are also happy to provide you with photo/letter updates, a DVD showing your child enjoying his or her life and to, generally, stay in touch. We consider openness, trust and understanding to be the most important elements in the contact between the birthmother and the adoptive parents.

We can’t wait to be fathers. We adore children and look forward to giving the child a wonderful life, love, education, and encouragement to fulfill their dreams. We will raise her or him to be proud of being adopted and to know that the adoption plan was made with care and planning. We are happy to have communication so that your child can grow up, tall and strong, knowing how much everyone loves her or him. Our families will welcome a child of any heritage or background. Our parents often thought that they would not have grandchildren through us because we are two men, but now are very excited to know and love the child that will join our family through adoption.

We live in a country where discrimination is much less pronounced. We have the most ethnically diverse country in all of Europe. We have diversity in our own family; Anco was born and raised in a small harbor town in the north of Holland. His family has lived there for generations. King was born in Indonesia from Chinese ancestry, but he and his family emigrated to Holland on his seventh birthday. The population in Holland is very multicultural and multi-ethnic; a child of African American heritage, or Chinese or Caucasian is simply accepted and known as “Dutch”.

We were lucky to experience love at first sight in 1998. We met at a friend’s party and fell in love instantly and three years later we got married. We are inseparable and are the best of friends. King adds his Eastern tranquility and Anco takes a pride in being the one who takes the initiative to plan fun social activities and organize the household. Some time ago, Anco discovered that King regularly skipped lunch because of his busy job. So to make sure that he eats well, Anco has been preparing a lunch box ever since. Dinnertime is often spent discussing our work and sharing humorous stories from our day. A couple of weeks ago, one of the board members in King’s hospital announced his retirement. As he was well liked, his colleagues organized a musical and rehearsed for months in secret. The musical was a great success partly because King didn’t have to sing. He is a great dancer though. We also discuss serious matters like our ambitions and dreams for the future. We share our different perspectives on day to day matters as well as current events. We also talk openly and candidly and take great care to really hear each other, so that we avoid misunderstandings. This way we can keep up the spirit of our love and can continue to inspire and encourage each other in life.

Sharing our happiness with a child living in our caring extended family is what we would like to offer you. Our family and friends cannot wait for that moment to arrive! They have already given us baby-clothes and a lovely crib for the baby to sleep in. Our nephews have planned to teach him or her to play Nintendo, but we told them that the baby will still be too young to play computer games for the first few years. The nieces have other plans, like giving the baby its milk bottle and teaching the baby to speak its first little words. They will consider the baby their beloved cousin and they can’t wait to play with him or her. Our parents will be waiting to take turns to baby sit whenever possible.

We have grown fond of the United States since we first visited over the holidays in 1999. The sense of space and wilderness was sometimes overwhelming when we visited the nature reserves in California and Arizona. A walk through the sequoia forest was like walking in prehistoric times. Meeting people from different heritages is fascinating to us and reminds us a lot of our own country. We think that it's important for the child to be familiar with you and the United States so this would be a good reason to travel together to the States as often as possible. 

Dear birthmother, we wish you the best of luck and wisdom in deciding what is best for your child. We are convinced that you will make the right choice. We would be delighted if you would consider including us in an adoption plan.

If you would like more information about our family or would like to visit further, please call us anytime at: toll free through A Full Circle Adoptions at 1-800-452-3678 or use this link to send us email.

Heartfelt wishes,

Anco and King