How
to do an Open Adoption
 Overview
of Open Adoption
The best way to think of Open Adoption is 'Do it Yourself' Adoption. You
seek out an expectant mother. You and the mother agree that you will parent
the child. You work with your local court system to facilitate a legal
adoption of the child.
Is
there a less expensive way to adopt?
Open Adoption is an excellent choice for people who are hoping to avoid
what is often a very expensive process. The only actual required expenses
are the cost of a Home Study ($100-300) and the cost of the Court Filings
($100-300). Many people engage an Adoption Attorney who is familiar with
all of the laws and procedures (Our's cost $2000 from start to finish)
and many people engage in some sort of advertising in order to connect
with a prospective Expectant Mother (newspaper ads, websites, etc.).
How
does this site make money?
We don't. I built this site in order to support our effort to adopt. Once
we successfully adopted, I decided to make it available to others for
no charge. Too good to be true? Maybe. There is a down side. I have a
hard time getting to the site with updates. There is no charge to be on
the site, but there may be a wait in getting your info on the site. My
Job, wife and new son all come first....
What
are the steps?
If you are looking for a precise roadmap to doing an Open Adoption, the
short answer is "there isn't one". People do it in many different
ways and any way that works is a good one. I am not an expert or an advisor
or an attorney. All I have is the benefit of my experience to share. Here
are some of the things that I am aware of that are required and some of
the things my wife and I did that I think were effective.
- Home
Study:
We located a state approved, independent social-worker who made visits
to our home in order to complete a legally required assessment of our
fitness as Adoptive Parents. She interviewed us, toured our home and
reviewed our finances. Her report was then filed with the state, which
then allowed us to pursue an adoption.
- Adoption
Attorney: We located an attorney who specialized in adoptions. He
handled getting all of the required medical histories, legal filings
and record searches on our behalf. He was not affiliated with any adoption
agency.
- Support
Group: We joined a local Waiting Parents support group. This proved
to be quite helpful for many reasons. We got to talk with lots of other
couples who were involved in the same process. We got to see their ideas
for advertising and finding birth-mothers. We got to see what was working
and what wasn't working. Sometimes a couple gets contacted by more than
one Expectant Mother at once, so they hand off the additional contact to
someone else in the group. This is a great way to get ideas and keep
your focus and energy up.
- Portfolio:
My wife made a 10 to 15 page picture book about who we are. This book
told about our lives together, our history, our home. This book was
a very "arts and crafts" effort to help a Expectant Mother see
where her unborn child might grow up. Then she made about 20 copies
of the book at a "color copy" center. She put them in thin
three-ring binders and then put them in big, padded envelopes. Whenever
we received a contact from a Expectant Mother, she would address the envelope
and run it to the post office that same day.
- Baby
Phone:
We had an 800 number added to my wife's cell phone (The service was
really pretty inexpensive. About $20-25 a month...) Then my wife kept
the phone with her and on at all times. We had heard somewhere that
the Expectant Mothers usually prefer talking with a woman. This resulted
in never missing a call from a Expectant Mother who may try to contact us.
- Network:
Tell everyone you know that you are hoping to meet an expectant mother
for the purpose of adopting. You never know who's niece is out there
that didn't know about you.
- Advertise:
We ran ads in the Little Nickel "Loving Couple, hoping to adopt...."
and the local papers. We sent a letter to everyone in our address book.
We built this website.
Where
do I start?
The first thing you need is the home study. Many publications won't allow
you to advertise without one (including me). This is for the safety of
the Expectant Mothers. If you have your home study and want to be on this
site, start getting photos together and writing some letters about yourself.
Send me the stuff and I'll post it. Follow
this link for details on getting site content together.
How
long does it take?
From start to finish, a quick adoption happens in six months. A long one
happens in four years. There is no accounting for the timeline. You just
put down your money and take your chances.
How
much will it cost?
Go back through this document. There are some indicators about what it
might cost. Again, it's up to you what you spend money on. Obviously,
if you're running ads in the daily New York Times for a year, you will
spend more than someone who isn't doing that.
What
will you do for me?
Open-Adoption-Services is not a company. It is an Internet domain name
that is easy to find if you are looking for 'Open Adoption'. I am not
involved in any way with the adoption process. I don't give referrals.
I don't do home studies. I don't do court filings. All I do is post waiting
parent portfolios and provide the means for Expectant Mothers wanting more
information to contact them.
What
else do I need to do?
Read, read, read.... Search for websites, articles and books
on Open Adoption. Ask questions. Do the things mentioned earlier in
this article.
Good luck
B-)
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